Even MORE Ways To Annoy, Scare, Anger Voldemort
by Rica666
Summary: Hehe...I'm back...with even more ways to annoy/anger/scare my friend and yours Tom Riddle aka Dark Lord Voldemort! I know you love it, you know you love it soooo R&R! Now taking suggestions! Leave name and idea after the beep! Thank you.
1. Stupid Voldemort

**Rica666: Bwahahahahah, Voldy...I'm BACK!**

**Voldemort: /cries/**

**Harry: /cheers/**

**Rica666/laughs evilly/**

**Voldemort: Someone save me! Anyone...Please!**

**Harry: Rica666 does not own Harry Potter nor the first seven ideas here.**

**Rica666: No I don't they belong to 57-1 or as I like to call this person...Anonymous #2...hehe I just came up with that...**

**Harry: /sighs/ Enjoy.**

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_"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest."- Mark Twain_

1) Draw glasses and a lightening bolt scar on him when he's asleep.

2) When he wakes up express your relief at finally having a competent leader.

3) Inform him pink is his color.

4) Read the list of "Top 100 things to do when you become an evil overlord" to him. Remark (loudly) on aspects of the list he is

failing at.

5) Ask him why, in the fifth book, after he set up an elaborate scheme to have Harry Potter come and pick up the prophecy in the DOM so that the Ministry wouldn't see Voldemort and realize he was back, he then went into the Ministry anyway.

6) Should his schemes/plans ever fail again- or rather the next time they do fail again- casually say that at least this time they didn't backfire so spectacularly he died, like they normally do.

7)Ask him if his obsession to kill Harry Potter is really his way of covering up his true feelings to Harry and if his subconscious is manifesting his disire to let Harry live by always inducing spectacular flaws into his plans.

8)Make plans to kill Harry right in front of him.

9)Reenact all the battles he has had with Harry, including the baby one...

10)If that is not enough make Voldemort clumsy, stupid, etc.

11) Force him and his anyone of his enemies in a closet together...

12) Better yet, feed him and/or his enemy a love potion. (I'd go with both because if you feed him the love potion then that is scaring to the enemy, oh and make sure you take away his wand, he could kill his enemy if he is not feed a love potion.)

13) Infiltrate his Death Eaters, act like a Death Eater for a while and then, during a meeting, through off your cloak(with a flourish) and state "This is the sorriest bunch of evil wizards I have ever seen. I am going to France, they have a Dark Lord that at least tries.

14) Instead of asking where he got the nose job, prank call him about his nose job.

15) Take away his wand, stick him in a room with James Potter, Lily Potter, Remus Lupin, Tonks, Sirius Black, and Severus Snape and sees what happens. Please make so popcorn and invite me over for I would like to see this.

16) Take his to the asylum and tell him that the men in the white coats have a nice Dark Lord Jacket for him

17) Call him the Dark Lard...on accident, of course.

18) Sigh sadly when he talks

19) Then when asked why you are sighing sadly, inform him that you were in love with Tom Riddle and that you two can never be together for he has changed too much.

20) Ask him if he is ready to face the world, no matter what they say, even though he is suppose to be in hiding to stop the Ministry from knowing he is back

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**Rica666: Okay, now people unlike the other stories I have done I will now make chapters...**

**Harry: I sense a big but...**

**Rica666: Little too much info there Harry. /Harry glares angerily/Anyways, there is a but and that but is that I need, I mean need suggestions.**

**Harry: Lazy bum...**

**Rica666: /ingores Harry and looks around the room/ Hey were did Voldy get to.**

**Harry: Oh he's hiding in the closet.../snickers/**

**Rica666: Oh, hey everyone quess what, the first person that reivews gets Voldy for a night. You can do whatever you want to him. /wink, wink**

**Voldemort/peeks out the door, shivering/ What?!**

**Harry and Rica666: Review!**


	2. Scaring on Vday

**Rica666:** Welcome to another chappie of Even More Ways to Annoy, Scare, Anger Voldemort.

**Voldemort: **Who got me? What are they going to do with me? FAN GIRLS SCARE ME! /Falls over twitching/

**Rica666/Harry:** /grins evilly/ We don't know, Tom.

**Harry:** /snickers at Voldie/ Rica666 doesn't own Harry Potter or any of the ideas that have bold names after them.

**Rica666:** /waves/ Enjoy! Oh and here are some shout outs to the ONLY reviewers! Thank you all so much for the support!

**Cadkins08: **That wasn't bad, I actually found in funny. It's really entertaining plus I would have never thought of that myself. Oh, Congrats! /throws confetti up in the air You get Voldie dearest. shoves Voldemort in a box and haves him be overnight shipped/ Enjoy whatever you do to him. /Snickers/

**Allergic-To-Sunlight:**Thank you so much! That is a really cool convo(your right the word convo is funny .). Oh and thank you for the suggestions! They really helped.

**Phnx:**Thats great! Thank you for the review!

**13:** Thank you for the review and suggestion!

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_"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."-Mark Twain _

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1)Anytime the dark lord asks you to do something, reply with "Say you want me" and since the common answer will always be him yelling at you say "The fact you want to scream my name does it for me"(**Cadkins08**)

2)Enroll him into '10 Years Younger' (a British make-over show) and make sure everyone thinks he is a girl. Make sure at some point he wears a sequined mini-skirt/boob tube.(**Allergic-To-Sunlight**)

3)Give him a mirror and state that 'Horcruxes are like fruit from the ugly-tree, the more you make (erm... eat) the more people feel sorry for your ugliness and want to love you as a consequence'. Watch what happens next.(**Allergic-To-Sunlight**)

4)Tell him loudly that you were relieved to hear that he put a different part of his anatomy in each Horcrux as when you went to, erm... kneel before him the night before, you noticed that quite a lot of him was missing... Also tell him that on a completely unrelated topic you have proof that Harry Potter has never made any Horcruxes.(**Allergic-To-Sunlight**)

5)Buy him 'Cinderella' for Victoria Day (a MUGGLE holiday celebrating Queen Victoria).(**Allergic-To-Sunlight**)

6)Take his favorite teddy bear, Mr. Wally, and stuff it with poison ivy before apologizing and giving it back.(**13**)

7) Write a love letter just like Harry's only about Voldie and do everything that Lockhart did for V-day.

8)Tell him that not only has he een beaten by a 1 year old, he has also been beaten by a 11 year old that wasn't very smart.

9) Infiltrate his Death Eaters and foil all of his plans, then stand up and state, "That's it! If you can't even stop me from foilling your plans how can you expect to stop Harry Potter from foiling them! I quit and am leaving for America. They have an up-and-coming Dark Lord and he'll need follower's!"

10) Inform him that another country's (of your choice) Dark Lord has been named the number 1 Dark Lord in the world.

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**Rica666:** Before I go I would like to say two things. One is that I need more reviews, 'cause I am running out of ideas here. 81 hits and only 4 reviews. Come on people, review! Two, if you could help it try not to review anonymously. If you do need to then put a name, even a fake one is fine. I really don't care, but the number thing is not helping.

**Harry: **Oh no Rica is annoyed, now I going to be the one that gets it taken out on.

**Rica666:** /Rolls eyes/ Review, please. I really don't wanna beg but I will if I have to.


	3. Stealer of Gumdrop Buttons

**Rica666: WELCOME! IAMSUPERHYPERBECAUSEIHADTOCOKESINAROWSOYEAH!ISN'TITAWONDERFULDAY!ITWASSUPERHOTOUTANDIWASSTUPIDENOUGHTOWEARPANTSINSTEADOFSHORTS!WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!/Runs around in circles/**

**Voldemort/shivers/ **

**Rica666/laughs hysterically/**

**Sirius/sighs/ What Rica was trying to say before is that this... I am super Hyper because I had to cokes in a row so yeah! Isn't it a wonderful day! I was super hot out and I was stupid enough to wear pants instead of shorts! Oh Voldy is hear because Rica couldn't get a hold of Cadkins08.**

**Voldemort: The dark...confined space...it...it haunts me.**

**Rica666/Nods sympathetically/ You cuddling your teddy haunts me...and scars me...greatly...**

**Sirius/snickers/You have a teddy?**

**Voldemort/draws wand/ You want a fight, Black?!**

**Rica666/ignores fighting noises/ Oh, everyone, You guys have to** **have Private Message so that you can get Voldie. I sent Voldie before I checked to see if Cadkins08 had it. Then I was waiting to see if Cadkins08 had reviewed but Cadkins didn't so it was my fault./bows head in shame/So if you want Voldie you have to Review first AND have Private Message or you won't get him. /gasps for air/**

**Sirius/stops fighting/ BREATH!/continues fighting/**

**Rica666/breaths deeply/ Oh and if you DON'T want him tell me in you review and I will just send it to the next person that does./ blushes/ Sorry, this is a lot to do but I just want you guys to get your quality time with Voldie. I will start sending him next chapter.**

**Shwalla S h w i n g: I am super glad you loved them. Thanks for the review and suggestions!**

**Poisonbelle: I thank you for your idea and that convo(not my word, it is totally all Allergic-To-Sunlight's word, I am just spreading it hope you don't mind Allgeric-To-Sunlight/grins uneasily/) was extremely funny! I would be great in the final battle! Oh and too bad, you were if you reviewed earlier you could have won Voldie, keep trying! Thanks for the review!**

**Destenys Angel Pyra: Thanks for the review and suggestions! Oh and don't worry about the grammar and spelling mistakes, English IS my native language and I make tons of grammar and spelling mistakes/makes a face/. If you don't mind me asking, what is your native language?**

**Allergic-To-Sunlight: Your first mention?! Wow, I am honored to give you your first mention! I was told once that my cry could be heard across the entire plant it but I didn't know that it was true!/snickers/ All joking aside Thank you for your suggestions and the review! It helped me greatly, so don't worry! It's so hard to come up with good ones that aren't completely stupid, isn't it!**

**GypsiRiddle/claps hands/ Thank you for the review! Hehe, poking fun at people is what I do best! Of course it is useful, I can only think of so many thinks to annoy him and your ideas make me laugh.**

**Sirius/gasps for breath/ Rica666 doesn't own Harry Potter nor the ideas with names after them. The ideas belong to those people.**

**Rica666: Enjoy!**

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_"Buy land, they're not making it anymore." - Mark Twain_

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1. Call voldemort on the phone and pretend to be the canadian dark lord asking for a game of curling and/or hockey.(**Shwalla S h i n g**)

2. Take voldemort's wand and tell him that you aren't giving it back until he gives you a raise.(**Shwalla S h i n g**)

3. If voldemort does an evil laugh, tell him it needs work and give him a card and say "This guy is realy good."(**Shwalla S h i n g**)

4. Tell all the death eaters to call voldemort "little chocolate no-nose bunny" for 3 hours.(**Shwalla S h i n g**)

5. Take his wand and randomly hug him threw out the day, when he gets pissed say Harry lets you do it.(**Poisonbelle**)

6. Ask him if he has really to little self-confidence to attack a over 100 years old guy(**Destenys Angel Pyra**)

7. Say him that the real evil guys wear pink with yellow bunnys on it instead of black(**Destenys Angel Pyra**)

8. Ask him if he ever managed an Avada Kedava or just told his servants to cast the spell.(**Destenys Angel Pyra**)

9. Say him he at his age should consider quitting his job and get a flat in Florida to have nice last days of his life.(**Destenys Angel Pyra**)

10. When he is plotting ways to kill Harry Potter, sigh, raise your hand and when he calls your name say: 'We try to kill Harry Potter every time - can't we do something different? How about bowling?'.(**Allergic-To-Sunlight**)

11. Pay a muggle (a lot) to kiss him.(**Allergic-To-Sunlight**)

12. Laugh in front of him, and when he asks what you are laughing about, start telling him ALL the funny things that have ever happened in 'Desperate Housewives'.(**Allergic-To-Sunlight**)

13. Stun him and then take pictures of him in provocative positions. Then proceed to stick them to the walls (using a permanent sticking charm) of Death-Eater-Headquarters. Also send some to Hogwarts for good measure. Wait until they've gotten there before waking him up.(**Allergic-To-Sunlight**)

14. Use the Imperious Curse to make him slap himself across the face. Keep doing it. Chant 'stop hitting yourself' over and over and over and over and over and over again, until you're sick (on him).(**Allergic-To-Sunlight**)

15. When He tells you his "oh so brilliant plan" sigh loudly and say "is that it?!"(**GypsiRiddle**)

16. When he tells you his plans randomly ask, "Why are we doing this?"

17. Continue if you want by saying, "We are all going to die, what's the point."

18.Then go to Voldemort and cry on him, yelling, "Comfort me, you fool!"

19. When he sicks Nagini on you, growl, "Two can play that game," and pull out your own garden snake.

20. Tell the Death Eaters to Call him Lord Fluffy Pants, Stealer of the Gumdrop Buttons.

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**Rica666: Oooo, I love Dane Cook! I'm listening to him right now! "Heelllloooooo, I am a caaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrr!"/laughs/**

**Sirius/stares/ You scare me greatly.**

**Rica666/glares/ Shut up!**

**Sirius: Review!**


	4. A TIRE hit him in the FACE

**Rica666: I AM BACK!! WOO-HOO!! **

**Sirius: YOU'RE BACK!!/runs around like a hyper active dog/**

**Rica666: /blinks/ Ah, whatever...Anyways, I know I am just about the most horrible person for not updating like I said I would./bows head in shame/But, I was trying to wait for more ideas to come, from me and you guys. Sadly not many have came and I can't keep pushing off the update. Sooo...here you go!**

**Destenys Angel Pyra: Sweet! German rocks! though I do take it in school, so maybe I am just a tad bais.../shurgs shoulders/Oh, well. English class is the biggest pain for me, everything else I can do okay but I am just hopeless at that class. /blinks/ Why didn't I think of that? I think, maybe I'll do that. Thanks for the idea! Oh, and the review! PM me if you have any idea's to annoy/whatever Harry, Snape and Dumbledore!**

**The Grey Detective7: Thanks, and I'll try to make the spelling and grammar better, but I don't have a beta so I am the only one reading this. One set of eyes can't get everything./sighs/ I will take that into consideration and if other readers do not like the convo's between me and the characters then it will be stopped. Is that alright? Thanks for the review, I really appericate it!**

**Allergic-To-Sunlight: Yep, it is your lucky day! You should rent out the word 'convo' you would get a ton of money!/stares/ Your right that is very strange and quite perverted.../laughs/Your in luck though, I am so use to strange and perverted things being said around me and to me. That was a great way to end your reveiw but if you are trying to throw me off...you need to try harder!/laughs as it is re-read/ Thanks for the review and everything else! Oh, start thinking of ideas for Snape, Harry and Dumbledore and PM them to me when you have some!**

**GypsiRiddle: Ew, warm and fuzzy. Just joking! Your welcome! /hits forehead/ Why did I think of that? It's wonderful and so simple! Ah, well at least you thought of it!**

**fanficfan1037: You have a suggestion with Dane in it! Sweet! Thank you for the review and the suggestions! They are wonderful!**

**EvilPandaCatsy: I didn't know panda's could be evil...Why wasn't I informed of this sooner?! That makes them even more awsome! I don't know where Lord Fluffy Pants stealer of the gumdrop buttons came from, but it is pretty funny. Since you asked for voldy you are getting voldie!/throws up confetti/Congrats! Thanks for the review and suggestions! /throws Voldy in a crate/ He should be there soon!**

**Rica666: Blah! Life stinks! Nails do too! Anyways, I have a very important question to ask you guys. Do you want the convo's or not? I need to know 'cause if you don't then I will stop. Oh and if any of you have ideas to annoy Harry, Snape, and Dumbledore PM me, please.**

**Sirius: ENJOY!/screams like a girl and falls over/**

**Rica666/shakes head and sighs/ I knew I shouldn't have gave him chocolate.../blinks/ Oh I forgot the disclaimer.**

**Harry/pops up/ Rica666 doesn't own Harry Potter, Dane Cooks "haliorus" jokes, or the reference to Pinky and the Brain.**

**Rica666/nods head/ Right! I remember watching Pinky and the Brain in the mornings, though. I love that show!**

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_"By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity -- another man's I mean." - Mark Twain_

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1) Every time he says the words "Harry Potter" interrupt him and shout "Voldy's got a boyfriend!"**(GypsiRiddle)**

2) Instead of pay, hypnotize ANY muggle to kiss him. **(fanficfan1037)**

3) Take him to race and have two tires fly into the stands; one hitting Voldie in the FACE and have Harry slap the other one away and say " THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE HIGHLANDER" **(fanficfan1037)**

4) Give him a sleeping potion, create a large baby stroller and dress him up as a baby, and take lots of pictures then plaster them all over the place-even send to the daily prophet then wake him up.**(EvilPandaCatsy)**

5) Hypnotize two muggles to dress up as Voldie and Pettigrew and have the one that is dressed up as Pettigrew ask, "Gee, Master, what do you want to do tonight." Then have the one dressed as Voldie answer, "Same thing we do every night, Pettigrew, try and take over the world!"

6) Or pay them.

7) Or hypnotize two wizards.

8) Whenever Voldie says Harry's name cry out, "HEY! I KNOW HIM! He's the one that...um...let's see, what did he do?"

9) Then in the middle of his plan to kill Harry scream, "OH I KNOW! HE DESTROYED YOU WHEN HE WAS A BABY!"

10) Have Voldie listen to a Muggle comedian, without telling him, and when he asks who it was, say, "Oh that was (insert-name-of-comedian-here). He is pretty funny for a muggle isn't he?"

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**Rica666: So everyone, here is another chapter. **

**Sirius/twitches on the ground/ Nooooo, I don't want to kiss the snake, Mummy.**

**Rica666/blinks/ Ooo-kay, then. Anyways, I would like to tell you guys that unless I get more ideas...from you and my muse...that the next chapter will probably be the last. So if you have ideas, tell me them...no matter how stupid you think they are! Though, do not worry, I will not let Voldie...who is with EvilPandaCatsy(I love that name!) right now...go away so easily! Keep an eye on me, I thinking of other ways to annoy the heck out of him. I am thinking about-**

**Harry: Review!**

**Rica666: Hey! I was talking there!/waves it off/ Oh well, I don't want to tell you guys everything, do I?/grins mischievously/ That would ruin the surprise!**


	5. Even Pettigrew isn't that gullible!

**Rica666: So, Ladies and Gents, this is the end of Even MORE Ways To Annoy, Scare, Anger Voldemort. This makes me extremely sad...or is that the music I am listening to.../shrugs/Who knows. I _am_going to be coming out with the best things is sliced bread(at least in _my_opinion). It will be all of my Annoy Voldemort...ACTED OUT!/crickets/...that wasn't the reception that I was planning for...**

**George: Other people have already thought of this, Rica...**

**Rica666:/wide eyed/ No way...**

**Fred: /nods sadly/ Yes way...**

**Rica666: /cries/**

**George: Anyways, I hope you enjoy the last Chapter and- **

**Fred:-Be on the look out for a Story one Rica666's profile called-**

**George:-Emily and Lisa-**

**Fred:-Annoying the Dark Lard...er, Dark Lord. It is sure-**

**Rica666:/comes out of corner/-to be funny, amazing and awesome!**

**George:/eyes water/ You took my line.**

**Fred: Disclaimer! Rica666 does NOT own Harry Potter or any character. She also does NOT claim any of the ideas with names by them. The rest are hers.**

**George: ENJOY!**

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"_I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it." – Mark Twain _

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**Chapter Five: Final Chapter: "Even Pettigrew isn't that gullible!"**

1) Sing, "I like to eat, eat, eat, apples and Bananas…"**(BlackMajikk)**

2) Yell, "GROUP HUG!!" and then enforce it. **(BlackMajikk)**

3) Give him an apple, and then tell him, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." **(BlackMajikk)**

4) Turn his HQ into a muggle nightclub. **(BlackMajikk)**

5) Accuse him of stealing your cool socks. **(BlackMajikk)**

6) Throw him a birthday party ...in July. **(BlackMajikk)**

7) Hire midgets to sing "Ding Dong the Witch is dead," when he is trying to be evil, then to them (the midgets) and say "oh he's still alive...bummer." **(BlackMajikk)**

8) When Volders is not looking give him bunny ears. **(IcyLugia101)**

9) If he says he's hungry throw carrots at him. **(IcyLugia101)**

10) If he says he's bored throw carrots at him. **(IcyLugia101)**

11) If he says he's annoyed throw carrots with glasses at him. **(IcyLugia101)**

12) If he doesn't say anything throw Harry Potter at him... **(IcyLugia101)**

13) Invite Dumbledore over for a cuppa to 'put the past behind them' **(livvie333)**

14) Send him to anger management **(livvie333)**

15) Ask him if the reason he always makes plans that fail is because he likes to die **(livvie333)**

16) Read him HP/LV slash fan fiction **(livvie333)**

17) Give him a Harry Potter (TM) action figure for Christmas **(livvie333)**

18) Tell him "you know people who have big snakes are trying to cover the fact that they have little p..." **(selene crystal wings)**

19) Remind him that the Dursley (a muggle family) tortured Harry for years and he only can have a few minutes before the boy escapes. **(selene crystal wings)**

20) Tell him Bellatrix is preggo and he is the father. **(selene crystal wings)**

21) Replace Voldemort's wand with one of Fred & George's fake wands while he is sleeping. **(AnimeHarryPotterFreak)**

22) Tell him that he needs a tan. **(AnimeHarryPotterFreak)**

23) Tell him that flying without a broom makes him a lot like muggle superhero's.** (Allergic-To-Sunlight)**

24) Also tell him he should wear a helmet because who knows what that Harry Potter might do. **(Allergic-To-Sunlight)**

25) Curse him, and when he asks: 'What makes you think you have the right to even draw your wand in my presence?' shake your head and tell him that he knows what he did. **(Allergic-To-Sunlight)**

26) Tell him that you were told by your Auntie Cathy, who was told by your cousin Brenda, who heard it from Stacy in Diagon Alley, that Harry Potter was killed by an 8-year-old a month ago. **(Allergic-To-Sunlight)**

27) Spell a mirror to say: no way in hell you are the most beautiful guy in the country. **(Destenys Angel Pyra)**

28) Ask him if scarring little children is really worth the 2 hours a day he has to spent to put the makeup on. **(Destenys Angel Pyra)**

29)Tell him he should travel back in time so he could try to kill a 3month old Harry, since he can't kill him when he is 18month old. **(Destenys Angel Pyra)**

30) You insist on palm-reading his hand and when you finally look at his hand you gasp and say 'oh dear...' **(LEMONSKY4)**

31) When he asks you what you mean by 'oh dear', you tell him that [insert-gruesome-death-here]. **(LEMONSKY4)**

32) Or tell him that he gets hit in the face with a tire and DIES... **(LEMONSKY4)**

33) Trip him every time he does his 'I'm-so-evil' walk.

34) Have Pettigrew come out with a birthday cake just as you trip him, making him land face first in the cake.

35) When he is in his room crying about not being able to kill Harry Potter, pat him on the back and say, "Don't worry, Prince Charming will come for you."

36) Tell him that Harry will eventually see the error in his ways…

37) Then laugh in his face and say, "Even PETTIGREW isn't that gullible."

38) Interrupt his evil planning with a blow horn.

39) When he gives you a dirty look, smile and say, "You are the most ugly person I have ever met."

40) Give him weird looks as he walks by you.

41) When he asks you what tell him that he has something on his face.

42) Keep this up for many hours, making him late for his evil planning.

43) Spread a rumor in his band of Death Eaters that there is another dark lord that will give them a dental plan.

44) Spread a rumor that he is actually a woman in disguise.

45) Kill Harry Potter.

46) Kill Albus Dumbledore.

47) Eat all of his Girl Scout cookies.

48) Inform him that he has been kicked out of the "Dark/Evil/Sith Lords Association."

49) Follow him around.

50) Drag him into a room with Harry and Albus, making sure to take all of their wands, and tell him that he is not coming out until their issues with each other are worked out.

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**Rica666: It seriously makes me sad that this is over...really, really, really sad man.**

**Fred: Why are we-**

**George: even here-**

**Fred: Rica?**

**Rica666: Sadly, Harry had a date today. Sirius somehow got out of the closet I keep you in.../looks around suspiciously/**

**Fred and George: /looks around innocently/ Review you lot!**


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